Inane Thoughts and Adventures

Have you seen the Lite?

2006-09-18T18:59:00.000+01:00

No. And I don't want your "freesheet" either! Alright, admittedly, it's got more news in it than that other one - but it's not as good - it's like a watered down version of Metro (if that were possible - and clearly, it is!). Choice is a good thing, but with Murdoch in one corner and the Daily Mail in the other, who do you put your money on?!

Lisbon

2006-08-05T10:53:00.000+01:00

When in Lisbon, wear a Brasil t-shirt - you'll make lots of friends that way*

*See! A little knowledge of geo-politics and the local immigrant population can go a long way!

The Wedding of the Year - Part 2

2006-03-07T15:04:00.000Z

You can get all manner of wedding cards - to our daughter, to my daughter and her husband, to mum, to my uncle and auntie, even to my brother and sister-in-law - but sister and brother-in-law has been harder to find! Is is because they know men are rubbish when it come to cards/remembering dates/emotions etc? Well, I like to think I'm not that bad - I measure my righteousness in this case by getting a Mother's Day Card really early (as I was there - ah, I see, male logic kicks in...) and there was at least one other bloke doing the same (another logical male perhaps?) - perhaps a card which says: "To Mum, from your loving son, who never buys you a gift because it's usually also near your birthday, and such, but please recognise my logical prowess (which I obviously owe to you) and how I bought this card about three weeks before I had to! Love, your son" would be a good idea?

Having really odd dreams about the wedding now - real anxiety type stuff about getting the reading wrong - well, in that classic dream like thing that happens, actually having the wrong reading to start with, in the wrong church, in the year 3321, or something...! - Well, will practice the reading over the next few days and will have to let the time-travelling be...

Stupid new phobia

2006-03-03T17:13:00.000Z

I cannot wear plasters on the end of my fingers anymore, I mean, what's that about??!

Never had a problem before, but now it's like finger nails down the black-board...

(Ridiculous)

The Wedding of the Year, Part One

2006-03-01T18:43:00.000Z

Sister Inane is to be an Inane no longer. As of next weekend, she becomes something else...

A production which has been a year in the making is almost upon us... and after the Oscars, it's my sister's wedding!

I'm very much looking forward to it, as an intergral member of the principal cast - well, as well as being brother of the bride and I am an usher - I know it's not quite best supporting actor, but with my reading and all, I should get a look-in on the Screen-Play nomination...?

Or failing that, Best Dressed Male - because we're all wearing the same thing, and I will look the best! - okay, maybe not as cute as my nephew or as handsome as the groom - I have to say that in case any Inanes are reading this - but close - do they do a Best Hair Cut at the Oscars? Or am I thinking the Brits...??

Best Rock Act?

Reason I mention it - I'm starting to feel nervous...

VD, again

2006-02-14T09:32:00.000Z

Saw a young couple sat in a sad silence on the train this morning, and they both looked as though they had been crying before they left home...

Happy Valentines Day!

Tim

2006-02-09T15:23:00.000Z

Further to this, I ACTUALLY met Martin Freeman (would you believe it!) He's a good DJ too! (Didn't mention the film though - but still think it's a sixth best film of last year!)

Change of mind

2006-02-01T12:26:00.000Z

Saw Clive Owen on tv the other night - he didn't look that upset what with him not being James Bond mind, I thought - but other than that got me thinking about my list of films from last year.

Closer was excellent - not to mention filthy! - but probably more enjoyable (if being disturbed by a film can be ranked as enjoyment, but I think it can as it means you have been moved by what you have experienced) than Hitchiker's Guide to Galaxy. Although if I see Martin Freeman around - and you never know - I won't tell him I said that...

And the two are not really comparable really, are they? Just a thought...

From Palace, with love...

2006-01-22T19:12:00.000Z

Boiler still bust, so have spent the weekend pottering around Penge and the neighbourhood... getting cold again...

Jess and I sat and watched From Russia With Love last night.

I've got back into my Bond of late, after a gap of two or so years (these things usually go in cycles, alternating with my fanaticism of the Beatles - odd how these two icons of the Sixties somehow sit easily side by side in my own personal appreciation of popular culture?) - just finished reading a couple of the old Fleming novels and now onto the latest Young Bond book, Blood Fever (announced in my local book to the world as a children's book by a surly member of staff, just as I bought my copy.... well, Harry Potter it ain't, and it's certainly got more plot than The Da Vinci Code!)

Penge East vs West

2006-01-20T17:38:00.000Z

Been spending a lot of time down there of late, what with the shambles in the Sham at present (STILL waiting for a return of service re heat and warmth....)

Interested to hear conflicting reports regarding the fate of good old Penge West station - I heard last week that it was due to be demolished and replaced with ticket machines (yes, because the problem wasn't the vandalism of the ticket machines in the first place now was it...?!!) - but now I've heard that they are planning to re-build...

I tend to use Penge East nowadays anyway - proof (if it was required) that a station can be improved with helpful staff, a nice station manager, a news stand and a much needed coat of paint...

Stag vs Hen

2006-01-17T11:02:00.000Z

Five inane thoughts (plus one so I guess that's six) I had last weekend in Amsterdam:

1. Who thought a rodent was a good symbol for a local chain of supermarkets?
2. Who thought Comfort was a good name for a bank?
3. Live sex shows? Is there anything that's less sexy?
4. What's wrong with going to a museum when you are suppossed to be on the stag, particualrly if half the party is still in bed and it's two in the afternoon? (And I more than made up for it later, when everyone burnt out and went to bed early!)
5. Double decker trains are quite cool...

Will my boiler STILL work when I get home? (Answer this time NO! And I've been without adequate hot water or heating ever since...)

Five inane thoughts I had this weekend in London:

1. Is brown a good colour for a new suit?
2. Was crashing my sister's Hen night okay on the first night? (particularly as no-one seemed to mind as they were having a night cap in the hotel bar after seeing a show, before gearing up to what was the main event, i.e. the second night, which I stayed well clear of! And I wanted to see my family on one of their rare trips to the capital)
3. Why is it so busy out? It's only two weeks after New Year and everyone is suppossed to be broke...?
4. Is All Bar One really as bad as I've been making out all these years, or is my sudden acceptance of it as "alright" indicative of my older age?
5. White wine is evil. Period.

Back seat driver

2006-01-05T14:33:00.000Z

In a rush to get things done over lunchtime in preparation for my trip to The Dam. And I literally have to walk into the middle of the road because of this person walking down the middle of the pavement in front of me, hogging all the pavement, blissfully unaware that anyone else is there... (I'm in the middle of the City at lunchtime, it's hardly quiet)

The thought occurred to me that these same floaters who wreak havoc on the pavement probably cause similar anguish on the Motorway, occupying the middle lane for hours and hours whilst one puts one's own life at risk whilst having to overtake them in order to avoid the inevitable pile up....

I'm all for living life a little slower this year, but not like this!

**

More snow on the way - my trip to Amsterdam may yet prove interesting....

Pointless inane graffiti: Part One

2006-01-04T10:46:00.000Z

Right, I'll get this in before I sound like a Tory MP: I accept graffiti is an artistic expression and can be pretty powerful stuff... ...but some of it is pointless.

Like the one I saw today above the doors of the train I got on, I mean practically on the roof so no-one would see it unless they were over six feet tall or above the train...

...all it said was: "Pubes"

(I didn't even snigger like the schoolboy I can be sometimes!)

Pretty poor tag - indeed, quite inane

2005 vs 2006

2006-01-03T15:56:00.000Z

2005 went by way to fast - and everyone I talk to seems to agree with me (of all ages, well, adult ages - my nephew just looked at me like I was some sort of mad man when I asked him)

Is the pace of life just getting faster? Will 2006 be slower? Is there anything we can do to hold on to it a little longer?

I blame rolling 24 hour news myself....

Resolution No. 2 therefore is: live slower

***

Other inane thoughts I've had over the festive period:

Will I ever find anyone to play Star Wars Trivial Pursuit with me?

Why did I leave The Aviator, Greenwich on July 9th, Shameless and Jem off my various pointless yet fun end of the year lists?

Yet again, will my boiler still work when I get home?

How will Dad (60 today!) react to forced entry into a stip bar in Amsterdam on my brother-in-law-to-be's stag do this upcoming weekend, when I myself am not looking forward to the prospect - in fact, I'd rather find myself in a coffeehouse with Dad than suffer the embarrassment?

(Follow on thought: How would Dad react to THAT?!)

How was I persuaded to play Westlife TWICE during my latest return to DJ-ing on Boxing Day? I mean, HOW? ME? Westlife???

Why was the BBC countdown to midnight clock so woefully out of kilter with Big Ben on New Years Eve? (Or had I had to much to drink?)

Happy New Year to all and Best Wishes for 2006!

It's Chrissst-maaassss!!!

2005-12-20T14:27:00.000Z

Happy happy joy joy!!

'Tis the season, and all that...!

(and besides. Jess says my recent posts sound like a suicidal maniac - I'm not at all, in fact, the end is in sight and I'm rather looking forward to the weekend!)

So, in the spirit of Chrsitmas/New Year, I've done a bumper blog entry, mainly comprising of inane lists (well, if perfectly respectable journals can do it...):

Top Five TV shows
Doctor Who
Lost
Spooks Series 4
Firefly - DVD
Ideal

Looking forward to:
My name is Earl
More Doctor Who
More Lost...

Top Five Films:
Downfall
Star Wars Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
Batman Begins
Proof
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Shame I missed (but hoping to see soon):
Serenity
Sin City
Sideways

Top Five Albums

Nouvelle Vague - Nouvelle Vague
Playing the Angel - Depeche Mode
Don't believe the truth - Oasis
Employment - Kaiser Chiefs
Battleship Potemkin - Tennant/Lowe

Best moments
Anytime I was abroad
New Job
May 23rd
Summer days in the park
New flat

Worst moments
Last three weeks of November
7/7
Flying into Palma
Rash episode
Insomnia

Looking forward to
Wedding bells
The Mode in concert
Summer
Xmas
My next house move...

Merry Christmas one and all!

All by myself

2005-12-17T14:55:00.000Z

Just me around this weekend...

Jess and sis are off to Bruges Xmas shopping, so I'm off to the couch for a weekend of slobbing!

I have a choice of things to this evening which involve a party of a friend of a friend here in Kentish Town, carol service somewhere near Fleet Street, or just a quick one here with another mate. Or alternatively, a marathon session of either this or this*...

Choices.

Of course, I am procrastinating somewhat - I could still be shopping. Lot calmer today though...

(RIP John Spencer)

Stress

2005-12-16T16:00:00.000Z

Stressed. To the max.

All thoughts are non inane, and even those which are, are pointedly stressed.

This run up to Christmas is really fraying my edges unlike any other. Christmas Parties (No. II to V, and counting) have left me feeling battered inside. Paranoia slips out of the walls of the flat (not helped by a recent deterioration of neighbourly relations). Christmas cards and presents remain undelivered or unbought. I'm broke, and in debt.

There is one answer, and it hit me while I was watching TV (The West Wing, of all things unrelated!)...

...

...quit drinking.

You'll feel a whole lot better Inane...

Christmas Party No 1

2005-11-28T17:12:00.000Z

Oh dear - I think I've made a terrible mistake...

I'm going to an industry party ce soir, alone, where there is free booze...

...and it's only Monday! I have a WEEK of this!!

I'm a little nervous too - I want to the right thing by my job but has my enthusiasm run ahead of me? I've even had some cards made!! OH NO!!!

Did I mention I had a week of this??!

Christmas comes just once a year, thank God, but why is it getting longer?

At your convenience, surely?

2005-11-10T14:15:00.000Z

Just passed a sign in an empty shop window which said "Opening soon: 24 hour convenient store"

I thought that was very convenient... ;o)

Non-Celeb spotting

2005-10-24T16:56:00.000+01:00

Thought I saw these celebs earlier:

Chevvy Chase
George Lucas
"John Locke" from Lost

(actually, they were rather poor look-a-likes, but still, passed the time)

Hyde Park 10K

2005-10-17T17:38:00.000+01:00

I've been at it again - thinking I'm some sort of athlete...

...actually, I turned in quite a good time on this occassion (this occassion being the Nike 10K in Hyde Park yesterday) coming in at just over an hour!

(This entry also marks a first for Inane - yes, in case you have been pondering my identity, that is me on the photo above - I'm the one in red...)

The important stuff - what tunes provided the soundtrack to my Sunday run (courtesy of the Shuffle):

After all (The Odessa Staircase) - Pet shop Boys
(red revolution, anyone? I'm not making this up!)

Life on Mars - David Bowie
(this also made me laugh as everyone was wearing a red!)

Won't let you down - Oasis

Fly me away - Goldfrapp

Tainted Love/Where did our love go? - Soft Cell

Come Together - The Mojo Filters

Beautiful Boy - Hal

Count Five or Six - Cornelius

Now you're really livin' - Eels

You're my first, my last, my everything - Barry White

Golden Touch - Razerlight

You really got me - The Kinks

Girl from Mars - Ash
(again with the red related Mars laughter, how people must have looked on at this running dribbling nutter...)

Station Approach - Elbow

The Survivors - PSB

Royal Albert

2005-10-13T13:50:00.000+01:00

I've been lacking in inane thoughts since my return to colder climes, so here's one that I overheard last night when Jess and I went to see Eels at the Royal Albert Hall:

Eels fan #1*: (looking around the glorious Royal Albert Hall) 'Ere mate, wonder how much this place cost?
Eels fan #2: I don't know, but it's a shame it's full of cockneys?!

Indeed...

(I kept stumm, not wanting to embarrass myself with my non-regional rather posh no longer Northern** or working-class sounding accent...)

* This number does not denote the order of fanaticism in these fans - for all I know fan #2 might have been a bigger fan of the Eels for a lot longer, and owned more of their records - this number merely signifies the order in which they spoke...

** Okay, admittedly it is a little more mad fer it when I've had a few shandys...

Lanzarote

2005-10-03T11:55:00.000+01:00

Five inane thoughts I had while away on holiday:

Black sand is bigger than regular sand

Lanzarote is in the same time zone as the UK - why?

Sun cream is a bore to apply when you have to apply it at least three times a day - especially if you are hairy - is this the most tanned I have ever been?

Why don't the authorities make more of the fact that Planet of the Apes was filmed there?

Would my increasingly dodgy boiler survive my absence? *

*Answer - yes it would, but how has it self-repaired itself in the meantime?!

Rainfall

2005-09-15T09:36:00.000+01:00

Seen that advert where Jose Mourinho puts up his umbrella, and THEN it starts raining...? That was me coming out of Cannon Street this morning - how cool did I look?!

Bonus!

2005-08-27T13:35:00.000+01:00

Woke up this morning and thought it was Sunday. Then, a split second later, remembered it was Saturday. And then another split second later, I remembered it was a bank holiday weekend! Needless to say, I woke up very happy... Ahhh, what to do........

Anyone for ice-cream?

2005-08-25T14:07:00.000+01:00

Enjoying the respite from the rain (now sadly over) I spent lunch out on the grass near the office. From there, I have been watching (which much merriment) attempts to stop an ice cream van selling its wares at a popular spot near St Pauls for the last few weeks of summer. Every lunchtime I sit and see a certain van being moved along by the City's finest, only for an almost identical van to sweep into the same spot seconds later. And repeat. This farce keeps me enteratined throughout the day (not just lunchtime) as said vans make their escape from the law past our window...

Now I wouldn't buy the ice-cream (not since the Rash episode) as the pirates are obviously coining it in and don't need my supoport. From a so-called "moral" point of view I do feel sorry for the police though (no, really!) as they just seem baffled by the simplicity of this operation (clue: they communicate by mobile phone!) However, I personally can't see the harm in this trade, but I would probably be told that the ice cream is funding drugs or a prostitution racket elsewhere... but if you cannot stop an ice cream van, what help have we got against anyone more sinister...

Just a thought

Another thought: are Mondays really so bad?

Wallace, and damnit (weather)

2005-08-24T15:43:00.000+01:00

Wandered over the the William Wallace memorial in the rain this lunch time, as said I would (plus what with the summer dissappearing into winter I had nowt else to do)

Was actually very interesting - lots of blue and white, poetic tributes and declarations of freedom - Mel Gibson has a lot to answer for (imagine him playing Churchill?) - spent a good ten minutes having a look whilst other office workers and nurses passed by bemused by my interest. Back then of course, this whiter than white Englishman's ancestors resided in a corner of Strathclyde, probably minding there own business and getting on with life inanely...

Back in the present, last night this was a very nice place to go for a drink by Tower Bridge (also an excellent sausage baguette) before moving eastwards to here* to pay homage to a friend's DJ-ing abilities - the question once again about my own former disc spinning sideproject came up - really should invest some time into that now everything else is seemingly settled...

And finally, have collected stories of no more than three other boliers that are suffering from low water pressure in the Sham area - coincidence? Or conspiracy....?

*Four Nathan Barley's out of Five - be warned...

Boiler

2005-08-23T16:05:00.000+01:00

Must be a week for things breaking down/technological gubbins not working...

First, there is the lack of mobile communication issue (hopefully soon to be resolved, before I seek counseling). Then I think my cassette walkman is on the brink of permanent breakdown (bored with iPod currently - need some new music so have reverted to what I thought was simpler more reliable technology)...

Well, they say these things come in threes, and finally, as I stepped into the shower this morning I met with the third (or so I thought). Seriously it seemed my boiler had broken down, so much so spent twenty minutes pratting around the flat (half dressed) turning hot taps on and off in an attempt to get the shower going, and gradually carefully selecting the words and phrases for my rant to the landlord on the phone (landline, because no mobile etc.....) once I got into work an hour late as a concequence... Fortunately none of that was to be, as after finally taking the icey cold plunge, I used a cold tap (why had I not thought that would work?!!) and it got the water pressure going enough for the boiler to kick in with the hot water....

Other news: this happened near where I work today (sort of) - might go and have a 'butchers' (geddit?) tomorrow lunchtime...

Mobile 2

2005-08-22T11:11:00.000+01:00

Letf the recharger at my folks over the weekend - now I have to go without it... (Still, as Jess pointed out, it's not like anyone calls me on it...)

Mobile

2005-08-18T12:10:00.000+01:00

Tee hee!

Anyway, back to business - why is it I feel naked without my mobile phone?

I managed the first 21 years of my life quite happily without one - so 3 hours into my day without a mobile (I left it at home accidentally) I feel a slight nevousness. What it someone needs to call me? (They never do) What if there is some crisis in London and I need to call worried relatives? (Which never helps anyway) What if I can't simply use email or the land line sat on my desk right now as an alternative for the five or so hours that remain until I get home and retireve the bloody thing from where-ever I left it in my not-so-drunken state* last night??!!!

No need....

*Note - moderation is the order after the excesses of last week, which resulted in me feeling ill for days and not even having the nounce to blog...

Facelift

2005-08-02T17:32:00.000+01:00

Never sure about these facelifts until after a few days....

Also, noted it was a Bank Holiday in Scotland yesterday... why? No fair...

Speaking of the page-a-day calendar (yes, I know it's been a while but it's still here), not only was it August 1st yesterday, but I've also yet to make a bloody paper aeroplane with my purpose designed for making paper aeroplane calendar! And it's been seven months of opportunity missed to do so...

May not mention it again, but this is what's been before my eyes these last few weeks on the calendar...

...strawberries, a giant chrysanthenam (spelling, I don't know, just imagine a great big bloody flower), a leaf, apples, the planet earth as seen from a camera monitoring vegatation, whispy clouds, a 10-pin bowling ball, honey (as it appears in the hive), a jet of steam, a dried and cracked river bed, glacial formations - from space, another leaf, trees, a sliced loaf - not from space, cherries, old defunct coins - including 19th century French Francs, really old US and Aussie dollars, and a GB Three pence piece (I mean, why??), cacti, clovers, palm trees al la Hollywood Boulevard, dead grass (?!), liquid gold, spider's web, balloons, desert, butterfly's wing (singular), firework in sky (singular), more leaves (!!!), more flowers, green slime (beware!), water, sunset, TV screen, water - as seen under water (eh?), stars and stripes, lightening in the sky at night, pebbles (blue in colour), sky (just sky, with clouds!), condensation (you bored yet?), shell shaped like a downward spiral, cacti (close up!), flame, MORE BLOODY LEAVES, living grass........

Calendar life - never dull...?

Netball

2005-07-29T17:00:00.000+01:00

It's a girls sport, but last night, me and a load of other fellas gave it a go in our firm's mixed competition. Needless to say, I played well, but our team did not reach the final, despite some fantastic performances from yours truly in Goal Defence! Actually, it was more running around like a loon and whoever was in Goal Attack on the oppossing side from getting the ball - apparently, I performed well, but did not move with much grace, according to one eye-witness...

I actually played on a rival team too as they were short of numbers - so ended up playing twice as many games as anyone else - I was thoroughly knackered by the end of it!

All this exercise meant less time to be here (the best match of the evening!) Getting back on true form, tonight as I'm off here to see a band and meet him.

Speaking of gigs.....

Carry on Camping

2005-07-26T21:00:00.000+01:00

Tried to escape London this weekend but not for long enough!

The plan was for Jess and I to meet up with friends in South Wales for a few laughs and a mini summer break, and both things did happen. There were plently of laughs and good times to be had by all and the good old British summer (the nasty Welsh variant of this phenomenon) turned up too!! (100% success!) This might have ensured that laughs were confined to tents as we hoped and prayed that we would not be either blown or washed away, but this was okay!

What wasn't planned was the 8 hour journey to Pembrokeshire... Perhaps it was sheer lunacy to attempt such a journey on the businest of all summer weekends anyway, but events here in London and accidents on the M25 caused autogeddon in the whole of South London, ensuring those of us unlucky not to have RDS or the latest sat nav systems in our otherwise futuristic hire car would spend three of those hours trapped between Bromley and Croydon...

Departing at 4.30pm and reaching Reading at 9.00pm, our surreal experience thus far only served to reaffirm our commitment reaching Wales and escape the magnet that is London (like Royston Vasey, in situations such as ours it felt that we would never leave...). By Bristol, the Percy Pigs had run out (tried to find a decent link here but couldn't - cannot believe these sweets have not yet created an emotive debate on t'in'ternet yet) but by Swansea, we had certainly picked up a pace, covering the intermediate distance in less than two hours. A

Another hour or so later, we would eventually find our goal, in the dark, only to then face the challenge of erecting a tent, also in the dark - glad Jess and I practised the weekend before, on a very sunny Sunday afternoon - this real life situation was anything but!

The next day proved equally bizzarre - after an excellent breakfast served under the morning cloud (but open air, in true camping sty-lee, with gas powered portable stoves and those multi-purpose mugs you only ever see on camp sites that whilst they hold tea, they could also serve as a dinner plate for an entire feast) we then departed dressed for scaling down a cliff path in the inclement weather, only to find by the time we got to the beach the summer had returned in all it's glory -South Wales was now more the New South Wales of Home & Away (obviously, during their Xmas episode, what with seasons being the oppossite way around to ours in the calendar in the Southern hemisphere.... gosh, now I am boring myself....)

In the evening, headed out to nearby Saundersfoot - was very busy - so busy in fact that all the pubs/restaurants were full... Except for where the locals headed, where we found some pretty fine grub. And then the rains came again, only this time for real.

Woke at 8am to the sounds of the campsite being blown away - we collectively headed back to the sunnier climes of Bristol for late brunch.... ...entertained via the means of radio by the fruity baritone of this chap on the way, playing Welsh records and seducing the women of the valleys too. Excellent stuff!

All in all, a success! Oh yes! If a little shorted than planned...

Roll out the barrel...

2005-07-11T16:47:00.000+01:00

In these times of crisis... cup of tea, anyone?

A message

2005-07-08T14:19:00.000+01:00

I think this says it all...

Legless

2005-07-04T12:39:00.000+01:00

Can hardly walk today - well, walking is okay once I build up momentum, but getting up and sitting down is difficult...

Been showing off my medal though!

(Anyone would think I have run a marathon...!)

Ten Kay

2005-07-03T18:59:00.000+01:00

Have completed the British 10K around the London first thing this morning. Needless to say, my legs are tired, and my brain is following suit. Was fun though (if you like inflicting pain on yourself in the name of health and fitness...)

Apparently I was in quite a state when I finished - Jess found me at the finish line, and spoke to me for five minutes before I began to take it in...

First major trial of the iPod Suffle was a success! This was the soundtrack to my run:

Shout (12" mix) - Tears for Fears
Train - Goldfrapp
Blinded by the Lights - The Streets (approx. 2K - had to fast forward after a while as it was spaced out and I my mind was already wandering dark recesses for sources of energy by this point)
Strict Machine - Goldfrapp
White Shadows - Coldplay
Somewhere only we know - Keane
Na-na-na-na-nah - Kaiser Chiefs
Turn up the Sun - Oasis
Get the Message - Electronic
Why don't we do it in the road? - The Beatles (REALLY, I'm not making this up, as I hit the 8K mark, the irony was not lost on me!)
The Hand that Feeds - Nine Inch Nails
Utopia - Goldfrapp (rather a lot of Goldfrapp actually, but it was easy to run to)
Do you remember the first time? - Pulp (yep, and I beat my time by over six minutes!)

Coldplay - the fans

2005-07-01T16:40:00.001+01:00

Got to get this one of my chest although concious I sound like an old fogey but still...

What was with the crowd at the Coldplay gig?

Maybe it was because it was non-restrictive standing/seating or maybe it was because we were on the edge of the inner core standing at the front, but I spent most of the gig fending off people (mostly teenage girls) from trampling me underfoot in a chavalanche of mobile phones and fried chicken cartons...

...and who takes an umbrella to a gig? Come on! As soon as it rained, they all went up, ruining the view for the hundred odd people stood behind.

I was initially amused when earlier in the afternoon, the Palace local was well and truly Islingtonised by wanderers from the north of town, exaserbated at the lack of Pizza Expresses (plural!). But by the end of the gig, I was fed up - the problem with a band like Coldplay is they appeal to everyone, including a good number of people who do not regularly go to gigs and consequently don't know how to behave. That's it, now I sound like my Dad...

...oh well, it seems these people have aged me... next time I do an outdoor gig, I'll do Glastonbury again as at least the threat of mud and the great unwashed is enough to put the casual fans off.

Or I'll just join all the other old farts in the park sat around the band-stand in their deckchairs mumbling how the youth of yester-year had more respect for etc etc etc...

(So it has come to this.)

Coldplay - the gig

2005-07-01T16:40:00.000+01:00

Must improve my reviewing techniques (not that there is much to add to what people have already said about Coldplay) but after my shoddy Star Wars review, I think there is definitely room for improvement, so here goes:

Coldplay must be approaching the peak of their powers right now. The third album has finally won me over. I was to be honest a little apprehensive over the last two albums, although the track "Warning Sign", which could so easily encompass everything I hate about whining soft rock and all the other mini-Coldplay/Travis style bands there are out there at the moment, is probably one of my favourite songs. They have just completed Glastonbury, are beginning a world tour, and are about to do Live8 - whatever your feelings on the latter, I'd rather have a cosy chat with Chris Martin on making trade fair than Bono clicking his fingers to make poverty history...

The gig itself was good and almost great - I say almost because the songs almost lend themselves to stadium great-ness (but not quite - they are often too soft - although has to be said the better stuff was the new stuff) and the technical side of things was almost right, except the weather (thunder and lightening accompanied by the odd severe cloudburst of rain) seemed to be wreaking havoc with a few bits of equipment, including the end of show fireworks which were practically non-existant. But the music, and that's what counts, was what we had come to listen to and the crowd got what they wanted... Also, as front men go, Mr Martin does the job, wiggling his hips (at times, a cross between Mick Jagger and Jim Morrison), joking with the audience (at one point, getting a song completely wrong and stopping play, with hilarious concequences!) and keeping the crowd going ... Highlights included opener Square One, Yellow, Warning Sign, Everything's not Lost, everything else from album X&Y with In my place, The Scientist and closer Fix you thrown in for good measure

(Also of note, support band Interpol were also very good - despite the weather, which they got the brunt of, and also that no-one was really there to see them - I actually thought they were better live than on record)

Definitely the highlight of our week, and as it was at Crystal Palace, five minutes walk from home at the end...

Meet the Inanes

2005-06-27T16:20:00.000+01:00

Folks visited this weekend! I think they liked the flat, they have left a deposit for a new sofa, and they were encouraged by my ever improving cooking abilities! (The best sausage and mash in the world, provided with the help of a certain Jamie Oliver). Glad they came down, as I don't see them as much as I would like - was great to entertain in my castle too, finally... ;o)

All in all, a relaxing weekend, during which I also inanely...

had a curry in Blackheath
got a new stereo
found an alternative and faster way to Lakeside (the easy way)
cooked up a feast
fixed pictures to my walls (probably against the rules but that the hell)
moved the last of my boxes out of the way

...and met a neighbour...

Well, did try to introduce myself to the old lady downstairs, but it was all a bit too much for her (bless)

Also, the flat below, which I think has been empty this last week, is now occupied... will investigate further...

Rolling in drunk on a Sunday evening! A sunday evening no less! Which means I have found at least one pub not too far away that will do.... ...also did my best to annoy the neighbours (unintentionally, of course) by playing loud music/TV late, cooking like a drunken demon to satisfy the palate of a booze hound who had nothing but a bacon butty and a bag of crisps yesterday...

Makes up for the racket upstairs was making on Saturday - he was watching Glasto-by-Sea on the TV until gone two, and as I was in the living room (having sacrificed the bed to the folks) I got to hear it all - still, glad I wasn't there this year, unlike him - music was good though, as ever...

Planning a quiet one this evening

Penge update

2005-06-23T16:10:00.000+01:00

There are some further comments to this earlier entry including a response from Southern railways... ...perhaps some sort of campaign is in order?

Stange happenings

2005-06-21T16:15:00.000+01:00

Friday:

Was woken by the sound of paint being scraped off doors below at 7am. Not that I was that botheredm, as it wqas a beautiful day and I had to be up not long after anyway, but who starts work at 7am? Had a nosey through the window on the way out and saw workmen were painting the flat (it's a bit shabby in there!) - obviously empty too? So what happened to the student type? Also, number of "For Sale" boards has doubled so could be a whole new ground floor soon...

...still no sign of occupant of flat oppossite, although City boy is continuing to come and go at erratic hours...

Later: returned from pub to remember cupboards were nearly bare so popped into 24 hour Tesco for a few items - have just found the receipt and this is a classic list of items purchased by someone pissed:

Ketchup
Fresh milk (2 pints)
Stayfresh White Loaf
Hawaian Pizza
Pepperoni Pizza
Nesquick - Strawberry
Walkers Beef and Onion crisps
Sausages

I only found the ketchup last night, after thinking earlier that I didn't even have any to go with my sausages... that's what six pints of the fantastic Samuel Smith's Ayingerbrau (a.k.a. Man in a Box) will do to you!

Saturday:

Flat heats up - candle melts of its own accord - hangover kicks in

On my way out of Los Lewisham (rechristened there and then on account of the heat), past all the topless scrawney extra-white guys outside the pub, and down to the bus station, I pass over The Quaggy - Lewisham's own little river, which in appearence is remakably similar to Los Angeles' own storm drain. Honestly. It being a pleasant day, I spyed a tramp daring to wade through the strong current of the Quaggy, looking for cash deposited by small children in the way of wishes on its bottom. Either that, or he was a troll from under the bridge collecting his taxes...

Later, attended Footballer's Wives theme party in Balham (I'm not going there, except to say that I looked very dapper!) - ended up drunk (again), and had a long discussion about the merits of Carravagio...

Sunday:

Ate Shepherds Pie on the hottest day of the year - very strange!

Today:

I was in the haunted loo at work - nothing ghost related to report, but someone started whistling the Imperial Theme from Star Wars, only it was the version from the end of EpisodeII/Episode III - this left me troubled as I'm not sure as to which one of us was the sadder for knowing that....

So tired - so hot at night and cannot sleep - enjoyed forty winks by St Pauls and woke up thinking I was in Australia (eh?)

Lewisham

2005-06-15T13:53:00.000+01:00

Continuing on a theme of blogs with place names....

Inane has moved flat! I'm in (you guessed it) Lewisham, which is in south-east London, close to Greenwich and Blackheath, not forgetting New Cross, Isle of Dogs and Charlton, plus lots of other places either beginning with "Lee" or ending in "Green"...

Love the flat - one bed - really spacious - I've been living it large (in a modestly quiet and relaxing way) for a few days now. Neighbours in the building - well, I have not had time to introduce myself yet or see them, but they are there! From what I know, there is a girl opposite who looks after the building, but Jess thought she saw her leaving in a hurry the day I arrived (does my reputation proceed me? am I that difficult to live with??) but to date I have seen no-one else - although I have heard what my landlord described as the "City type" (I met him on the weekend so I was able to disguise myself) pottering around upstairs (rises at 6am, comes in at 3am), I can hear/smell old lady downstairs (likes her TV loud and doesn't open her windows - she's moving on soon, in a residential rather than a mortal sense...) and I thought I got a whiff of the "Spanish/Hungarian" (which?!) "student type" in the flat below (he had a smoke on Monday at lunchtime - if you know what I mean...)

Lewisham - well, it's good for trains but the pubs are dire, unless you like talking to old men en masse - will investigate the locale further... ...but as The Overlord says, don't diss the Sham man...!

Looking forward to clocking off and pottering around the flat later - just pottering, nothing more, well, maybe some wine to go with the pottering...

Chesham

2005-06-09T16:50:00.000+01:00

It's a small town at the very end of the Metropolitan line - I had to go there yesterday which wasn't that bad as it was a day out of the office and the weather was great. Funny part of the world that - definitely not London, but definitely not countryside either. Has a Metroland/1930s feel to it...

Was amused by the number of schoolies on the tube at that time of day too (was a very early start for Inane as I had to be out of the smoke and up there by nine) - especially amused by the two lads sat opposite most of the way, studying for A-Level Chemistry, only to be interupted and embarassed by their chemistry teacher getting on board - I really thought the teacher trying to freak them out by saying nothing was hilarious, and you could tell he was loving it! Suddenly realised that not only was I sharing in teachers' jokes on the kids, but I am now also friends with a few teachers myself - concequently, it dawned on me that I am quite a lot older than I used to be...

Regents Park

2005-06-05T11:45:00.000+01:00

I highly recommend that next time you are in the Great Portland Street/Maryleborne area, spend some time in Regents Park. Also, if you leave the park via the Chester Gate, take the time to take in the architecture, and enjoy a pint/food in The Queens Head and Artichoke. Lovely.

Penge

2005-06-01T20:11:00.000+01:00

Sometimes I visit Penge. It's between Sydenham and Crystal Palace if you dont' know the area or have never made it that far out of town. Although recently I can't blame you... ...seems everytime I try and get here of late there's a delay...

Tonight, there was a fire at Penge East.

I use Penge East because it's easier than using Penge West because recently someone burnt the station at Penge West down, leaving it without useful things that staions need like ticket machines, clocks, lights, things that make one feel safe etc...

Now, I could rant on about that for hours, especially how it has taken two months for the authorities to do absolutely nothing about it (except put a few of Ken's new signs up, only for them to be vandalised again) but I won't... I mean, what's the point, nothing gets done, no matter how many commuters mutter under their breath in the direction of the station staff, who let's be honest, are doing their best in a crap situation...

It's no-one's fault (not even the chavs who caused this mess) except our own.

Why?

Because we are happy to put up with it - whether it's rising crime, vandalism, arson, cruddy railways, decaying hospitals, rubbish schools, smug politicians...

(...the same politicians who until four weeks ago were only too happy to be photographed outside all of the above...)

Perhaps we should reconsider what we are happy to put up with and mutter louder...?

I need a beer...

Sun

2005-05-27T12:50:00.000+01:00

Apparently, it's good to have a short burst of unprotected sunshine on your skin at midday. Wonder if this advice came from the same school of thought that suggested drinking your weight in wine is good for you, red meat improves the blood, and will no doubt soon encourage us that a ten cigarettes a day habit will prevent bad B.O., or something...?

I'm off out for my radiation... ;o)

Thomas the Tank Engine

2005-05-24T16:27:00.000+01:00

Not that I was one for being sucker-ed into merchandise at a young age... ...okay, ignore my last few posts on Star Wars, but telephone conversations with my nephew are not what they once were...

...for example, there was a time I wondered at the adaptive and ever growing power of a child's mind, particularly their ability to communicate effectively on the phone before they can really talk...

...all that is lost. As with everything, the corporations get in early, and on Sunday he listed, rather forceably, the toy trains I must take with me the next time I visit: Duncan, Rusty, Skar Loey, and the more familiar Edward and Gordon are all priced roughly £12-15 a piece...

Anyone wishing to make a donation...... ;o)

Darth Tater

2005-05-20T15:07:00.000+01:00

...so now it's all done and dusted, I can put my 20 year old toy of the Emperor away, or can I....

Now I don't need encouragement, but after watching Episode Three the other night, Jess presented me with my very own Darth Tater - and I have to say it is probably the best toy I have ever owned!! It's just so ridiculous!! I love it!!!

Thank you!

(For ages two and over - not for small children as contains small parts - not for my 3 year old nephew either - it's mine!)

Star Wars - a very brief review

2005-05-20T10:42:00.000+01:00

I've seen it.
It was very good.
Far better than the last two.
On a par with the original trilogy.
However, please don't make any more George.
Thanks.

Moan

2005-05-19T12:06:00.000+01:00

Oh, when is the bloody weather going to improve?

Touching

2005-05-17T14:39:00.000+01:00

Was walking past St Pauls churchyard today. I spyed through the iron railings a gentleman approaching the round black obelix shaped WWII memorial to the people of London, which sits just one or two feet in height above the ground. As I passed both him and the memorial, he paused and left behind a V shaped flag on the stone and carried on walking, pausing only for a brief second.

I was rather moved to have witnessed this...

Blue

2005-05-10T14:23:00.000+01:00

Wondered why I was feeling a little down over the last 24 hours, and then read the last few entries...

Is it any wonder??!!!

(Also looking for a new flat, a place I can call home - London is not working with me so far, but as my horoscope says, don't makes plans this week, because my ruler Mars sits down to dinner this weekend with flakey Uranus, and it means all plans will become redundant... Jess will not be pleased!)

Deaf

2005-05-09T17:05:00.000+01:00

What? Pardon?

I'm sorry, but did someone just sneak up behind me on a cloud and whisper now that he has beaten the plague, we will afflict him with another disability, just so everyone who didn't get the first one will now think he is really incompetant in his new job...?!?!!!

Only I couldn't hear....?

I am fortune's fool

Another holiday is in order...

Rashest

2005-05-05T21:30:00.000+01:00

I am in a world of hell.

I itch ALL OVER and I cannot afford to scratch.

Saw the doctor in the Soho Walk In centre (yep, it is exactly as it sounds - first question I was asked on my arrival was if I was there for "Sorted") - still, excellent service, was seen very very very quickly, and they gave me these fantastic pills with a very masculine name (which made up for a few things)..

Jess has been very obliging with the calamine lotion - alright, not that obliging...!

I think it's starting to dissappear... only playing with my new iPod and the consequent stress this is causing as I condense my favourtite tunes into 120 solitary tracks is giving it cause to rise again...

...I don't know what's worse, except waking up with Tony Blair/Michael Howard/Charles Kennedy... oh well........

Rasher

2005-05-03T17:43:00.000+01:00

...This is nuts, and it's really starting to get uncomfortable. I am going to sample the delights of Soho's walk in centre, as it seems it's the only place I can get seen to in a hurry without making advance appointments... so there, Tony!

Feel 'orrible! Will report on what I find tomorrow......

Rash

2005-05-03T09:55:00.000+01:00

Had the shock of my life this morning!

Thought I was a little hung over yesterday following a weekend of bank holiday booze, so settled in for an early night....

...only to wake up with a rash from head to foot!! (I look like a walking poster for the Labour Party)

I look like a monster...

...still, got to hand it to NHS Direct for calming my nerves/giving me more to worry about...!

Where did April go?

2005-04-29T17:10:00.000+01:00

Rhetorical question of course! I know where it's gone, and for once it wasn't down the pisser in our local...!

Just had to get this entry in as it's the only one this month - far from inane month too - maybe I'll exaplain later, or not...

Miss me?

Weekend blogging

2005-03-20T17:10:00.000Z

How relaxing! The weather has been fantastic and it's a refreshing change to be blogging somewhere other than work! (Ah, the simple things....)

Had a great night out in Crystal Palace, with Jess, and now we're off for a curry......

St Pats and Sping at last.... (my nose was right!)

2005-03-18T09:31:00.000Z

Pink marble, a tree's rings, rasberries on Friday 11th (Red Nose Day) , a wet sandy beach marked by waves visible only once the tide has gone out, a perper aeroplane that looks like a butterfly against a sunny sky backdrop and yesterday, shamroocks made of candy....

...on that note, thanks to The Overlord for finding this:

"Are you one of those complete wankers who claims to be Irish because your great-great-great-great grandfather twice removed once lived there for a bit before opting to desert the country and go somewhere else instead? Great! Because if you are, you can now buy a piece of Ireland."

Sums up how I feel this morning - 24 hours ago, I was quite up for St Pats (excuse to temporarilly suspend the beer ban, for Guinness only) . However, the pub was colonised by the above mentioned wankers*. Also, the pub had been conning us for weeks about the extent of the "party", for us only to discover that whilst there were plently of balloons, there were no free hats/inflatable pints in sight! (you know the ones, only available on the consumption of six pints of Guinness) I feel let down by the whole experience and next year, will be having my own party at my place (hats will of course be provided!)

Speaking of which, I have a leaving do/birthday party to plan...

* Must confess at this point my great great grandfather was from County Kerry. Admitedly, that was a long time ago, and yes, I can be a bit of a wanker from time to time...

Tuesdays Part 3

2005-03-15T09:38:00.000Z

Well here we are... waiting to see if anything goes wrong today... ...so far, so good...

Tuesdays Part 2

2005-03-14T17:25:00.000Z

Tuesday tomorrow (again? Who'd have thought it, eh?)

Apparently, I must defer my own judgment on this to my three and a half year old nephew - he likes them. End of subject.....

Spring is coming

2005-03-14T14:45:00.000Z

How can I tell?

My nose is bleeding - the seasonal barometer attached to my face is working well - after a week or two of rushing to the loo every five minutes to clean myself up, I confidently predict spring will be upon us..... ;o)

In other news: I HAVE RESIGNED FROM MY JOB!!!!! ;o))))

Although far from inane, very exciting in fact, I thought I should let you know, as it partially explains my lack of blogging of late... Needless to say I am very pleased....

Mutterings

2005-03-08T14:19:00.000Z

Lots of mutterings today, and ugly rumours....

Walked to the DLR this morning, and passed three people muttering to themselves like crazies... ...okay, one of them was certifiable, but the others seemed normal... ...as per my previous post on strange unconnected events, seem to be attracting things in threes!

As for the rumours, all will be revealed...

(Calendar: Pink Marble - yummy! Today is also International Womens Day. What with UK Mother Day in the same week, all this female bias has heightened my estrogen levels......maybe this also explains the strange activity I am attracting)

Beer update

2005-03-07T14:48:00.000Z

It's been four weeks since I last had a beer - and it feels like ages!!!

On the minus side, whilst I might be drinking less in volume, I'm still spending as much (if not more) on going out and also I'm drinking a higher volume of alcohol. So my liver doers hurt more and I've developed some mouth ulcers too!!

On the plus side however, I have lost a LOT of weight in a short space of time (quarter of a stone), and I feel healthier (apart from the bit about the liver and the ulcers!!), and my hangovers are nowhere near as bad (again, except for the liver, which admittedly I need to live)...

I'm really missing beer, but the weight loss is really satisfying.... ;o)

Clumsy

2005-03-07T11:42:00.000Z

People keep dropping stuff today when I am near...

First, this happened in the lift at work when a girl dropped her mobile...

Then, it happened outside the lift as a maintainence guy dropped his spanner...

Finally, as I was going to the canteen, someone dropped their breakfast all over the floor...

...is it something I did?...

Tuesdays

2005-03-01T13:01:00.000Z

What is it about Tuesdays? They are pointless, and very upsetting... Seems whenever I have one of my "black" days, it's always on a Tuesday... At least with Mondays, you know where you stand (yeah, it might be the beginning of the week, but at least it's a starting point, and you feel vaguely motivated - Tuesday's are just a non-event, a passage to Wednesdays, which do have some purpose as they mark the middle of the week and the turning point towards the weekend...)

Still, could be worse....

(You may have noted a lack of blog lately. This is because I have been far from Inane and very busy with my real life - hopefully, I will get a chance to share this with you - in the meantime, here's a page-a-day calendar picture for the day update, which has been very interesting over the last two weeks, during which time I have sadly been ignoring it - not even having the time to tear the pages away :o( - here's what I missed:

Tuesday 15th Feb: snowflakes, very topical; Thurs 16th: pebbles/rocks; Fri 18th - a paper aeroplane that once you make it looks like a red bomber plane in the style of the awful Jude Law film, Captain Jude Law and the World of Tomorrow; Weekend 19th/20th: ice, or salt, under a microscope... very cool; Mon 21st: Palm leaves, would have been more appropriate an entry on Palm Sunday rather than US Presidents Day, I feel; Tues 22nd: Metal discs of some kind, rather like industrial cheese graters, up close, to celebrate US President George Washington's birthday - also my sister's birthday; Fri 25th - (10 months to Christmas!) - Ice bergs, or Antarctic Mountains, see them now while you still can...; Mon 28th - Yellow tiger stripes, reminiscent of our local's decor, and finally,

March 1st - Rain - very appropriate...)

VD

2005-02-14T16:04:00.000Z

VD - Valentines Day. For once, the old calendar has set the tone, with a soft focus close up of some heart shaped choccies in a box. They actually look like dark chocolate, which is a bit rich for Inane. I prefer milk.... Still, hasn't helped my craving for all things sweet today, and despite my trip to the gym, it hasn't gone away...

All began on Saturday night - went to a friends' dinner party - all couples and very grown up - but at the insistence of the host, we polished off the booze - I did my bit with half a bottle of port! Very sweet! (Of course, my "No Beer" trial is still going well - the lager cravings have passed, the only thing I am having trouble with now is the cost of other drinks!)

Funny, now that I am no longer indulging in my favourite sour beverage, I've developed something of a sweet tooth, which i did not have previously - chocolate has never really bothered me - is there something in lager that my body actually liked, and is now lacking in...? Better stop there, I'm developing a cold sweat... (for real!)

Inane thought - actually, the more I think about it, the more I realise the old desk calendar has been rather interesting of late. Thursday we had a print space shuttle, which is you think about it is rather a cool design for a paper aeroplane (may get around to making that one) whilst Friday's entry was a full shot (I don't know the technical term, the picture filled the paper, right) of a TV screen - a retro 70's model rather like the one my Gran had at the time, if I am not mistaken (black and white, of course)

Brits

2005-02-10T13:30:00.000Z

Now, I'm not one to get on my high horse about much, but I've always been left exacerbated by the Great British public when it comes to music polls. Last night's Brits are no exception,... whilst I have a guilty liking for warbling Robbie Williams' Angels at various drunken karaoke events in my time, I certainly thought the title of Best Single of the last 25 years could have gone elsewhere.... how about one of the following 25 artists from that period?

Joy Division
The Jam
Madness
Culture Club
New Order
Tears for Fears
David Bowie
Human League
Pet Shop Boys
Depeche Mode
The Stone Roses
Happy Mondays
Suede
Blur
Oasis
Pulp
Supergrass
Prodigy
The Chemical Brothers
Fatboy Slim
Basement Jaxx
Coldplay
Travis
Keane
Franz Ferdinand

There are probably loads others too... ...oh well...

Idle chatter

2005-02-10T10:03:00.000Z

This morning, we are mostly gawping out of the window at the Thames Barrier, which has been closed to protect us from Mother Nature. We are currently locked in a debate over whether the barrier is raised or dropped into its closed position. I say raised....

Another day dawns... where's my agent...?

Alternative remedies

2005-02-09T15:49:00.000Z

So, these are the things I cannot drink - amongst friends/colleagues, I have tried to define as "anything brown in a glass", a better definition would be "anything golden/brown/black and fizzy (or flat) in a glass made product" - but to be more precise: lager, beer, bitter, ale, stout, porter, all in a draught or bottle.

I have found some exceptions to the rule but I have decided if I'm going to do it, I may as well do it properly.

What I've discovered so far:

Vodka and Tonic - absolutely no carbs in Vodka, and you can find slimline tonic in some places, although the last time I asked for that in our work local (possible sign of heavy drinking number one: I have a local for working hours??) - I found the last time I asked for that though, the barmaid asked me and The Overlord where our girlfriends were, and laughed at us...

Anyway, they do serve Vodka and tonic in our actual local, but it isn't very good quality and costs a lot more than beer (suspect i am going to find this with everything...) A good Friday night boozy drink though...!

Red Red Wine - Hmmmm... now, this not only makes me drink slower, it's also good for you too (like everything, in a sensible amount). And I like it. Price and quality vary, of course. Our local does it's own, which is pleasant enough, but it instantly stains your teeth blue... better quality costs more, but I can moderate the amopunt I drink...

I appreciate everyone's support in this (especially those that are joining in) - I tell you what though, it's day three and I'm gasping for a pint!

Lent

2005-02-08T11:31:00.000Z

Today is Shrove Tuesday, or Pancake Day, or Mardi Gras* ... ...or a day of no significance, if I am to believe my calendar...

I've been thinking about Lent quite seriously this year. Not that I've had a road to Damascus moment or anything, it's just that as a child I was always encouraged to give something up for the period of Lent. This usually had to be something that was bad for you (and as a child, it was sugary food such as chocolate etc)

What I begun thinking was that whilst I have been going regularly to the gym for a while and as a result I have lost some weight, I still have a small beer baby. And I can't shift it. So, would it be possible to quit lager??

After going over some of my blog entries and looking at my diary, there's enough here to suggest that I do drink a lot of the stuff (and I'm not talking about giving up booze altogether, oh no, I'm not ill!) So, is it possible to find an alternative for lager for 40 days?

The other factor in this proposed trial is there are rather a lot of birthdays coming up around Easter time - Scattergun is planning at least two, one of which is on the final day of Lent (the Saturday before Easter itself) - on that basis, to get my 40 days in, without massive lager temptation (although I'm sure there will be some), I would have to start a day early. Today.

(That means my last pint of the fizzy stuff was last night with Julian.)

The fun part of this trial is I get to try out all the things I wouldn't normally bother with - which could be worse - but another inane adventure begins... (wish me luck!)

* As that link suggests, there are rather a lot of other references to Mardi Gras nowadays: the quote "some of which are adult" made me laugh!

Tissues Part 2

2005-02-07T17:55:00.000Z

Having stayed behind I've worked out who has been taking my tissues......

Pour Homme Part 2

2005-02-07T16:55:00.000Z

Speaking of my accidental move from hetero man to metro-sexual this morning, The Guardian has published this blog entry today. I don't use moisteriser... oh no....

(...and even if I did occaasionally, I wouldn't give up my rug...)

Jess has got a really bad cold

2005-02-07T14:04:00.000Z

Poor Jess....

Pour Homme

2005-02-07T09:40:00.000Z

As a result of a crisis in stocks of shower gel/body wash I have incurred upon myself, this morning I have had to use a combination of small tubes of shower gel picked up at hotels etc and larger tubes presented in Xmas gift packs. The result is my torso and limbs are smelling of sweet Calvin Klein CK One whilst my back, face and hair is definitely a more fruity FCUK brand.

Still cannot figure out how when I trimmed my fingernails, I managed to ignore the ring finger on my right hand...

Little fluffy clouds

2005-02-04T16:27:00.000Z

Like John Lennon, I'm a great believer in drinking a pint of milk before going out of an evening, (admittedly, one of his lesser known beliefs), and I have recent evidence to suggest it actually works from the point of view of lining your stomach... so, currently milking it at my PC, awaiting another call from my agent, looking at the little fluffy clouds...

...beers this evening is looking like a quiet affair - why is that? - I sneaked in a cheeky pint yesterday though. Whilst doing so, noticed that the half pint line on my glass was marked with the word "utopia". What does this mean? Was a supposed to feel a sense of utopia by that point? Had it been my third or fourth pint glass, would I have gazed down to see the warning "steady" or even the description "mullered"??

And never mind beer, is water bad for you? I was drinking a bottle of water yesterday and I got this real soapy taste in my mouth. Mentioned it to the boss, and she went crazy, claimed there was a "higher than average" nitrate content. Suggested I always drink tap water from now on, but get one of these fitted in our kitchen. Wonder what Julian would say to that....

Tea

2005-02-01T17:07:00.000Z

First cup of tea I've had this week! No time for blogging... which is a shame as I've got so much to say...

Tissues

2005-01-28T10:45:00.000Z

I think the cleaners are using my tissues - I have a box on my desk and tissues have been removed from it overnight....

Locker 101

2005-01-27T16:20:00.000Z

Just got back from the gym... ...the whole trip today was a rather bizarre one. First off, I was hit by a squash ball as I passed through the corridor to the changing rooms (okay, that is not that bizarre, there are squash courts there, this ball didn't just materialise from out of space), then someone shot me a filthy look as I was gearing up on the treadmill (for no apparent reason, I wasn't staring at their arse or anything), but perhaps best of all, I was prevented from re-entering Locker 101 (alright - it was 103 - I always pick that number because it reminds me of home...) and was well and truly locked out of my locker after returning from the shower, with nothing but a towel to hide away my respectables...

...after sitting there for what seemed like an eternity, The Man duly came and forced my locker open (from a security point of view, a nightmare for any prospective thief), but upon gazing at my trainers remarked I should never run in them again, they were not even training shoes (funny, this sort of advice was not given to me when I bought them), I should get myself down to the sports store immediately with three brands recommended by him, preferably a model of shoe with thick plastic or rubber soles to protect my knees, and if I absolutely had to run in them again, no more than 10 minutes on the treadmill and absolutely not outside...!

...needless to say, not feeling the benefit of my 5K run just yet...

Down & Under

2005-01-26T16:52:00.000Z

Quite a manic few days for Inane - I've also been feeling under the weather - but things are a little more sedate now, so that comfortably numb* feeling is returning...

My calendar (artistic shot of tiny bubbles, or an ehanced photo of raindrops - but I am fast losing interest!) informs me that today is Australia Day (in Australia - like I didn't guess). Apart from an excuse for all the Aussies we know to get drunk (because let's face it, throwing another shrimp on the barbie is NOT an option at this time of year over here unless you wrap up very warm!)... Kind of makes one proud to be an Australian, so I'm told, especially at a time when the Aussie sporting prowess is not what it used to be...

...Okay, so that link was kind of mean, because let's face it, there doesn't seem to much to say about England these days. Perhaps we need a new National Holiday - an oportunity to recharge our batteries at a time when morale is low?

Anyway, I'll be celebrating Australia Day (and a belated Burns Night) with a wee dram and a pint of Fosters down our local later...

* (Pink Floyd fans may prefer to look here)

What a week!

2005-01-21T17:18:00.000Z

Absolutely no time to say anything of value, except always down a pint of milk before going out on a Friday - advice I should have heeded last week!

I feel a few more inane adventures coming on....

(Oh, and my calendar has improved again, the dry cracks of a river bed remindingus all to take better care of our skin - or should that be planet...)

Sage advice

2005-01-20T16:32:00.000Z

Just had lunch. Bread was excellent, although admittedly wasn't mine. Bought sandwiches in our neighbourhood Boots, the chemist. Unfortuately, they had run out of those excellent Pan Fried Sauasge and Sage "Sensations" crisps made by the good people at Walkers. Nothing like a spot of advertising (and vague dim hope they see this and either send me loads of free stuff - I'd prefer the Peking Duck Cracker or Thai Sweet Chilli flavour Sensations) but they have been good to me recently. Not only have I been aquiring their Sauasge and Sage Sensations from Boots en masse (at a seriously discounted price, of course) but I've also been wearing their Pedometer, which they kindly sent me for free just before Xmas. However, you would not believe how difficult it is to get up to the recommended 10,000 steps per day! I find the only way I can do it is to cheat by wearing it on the treadmill at the gym!!

I got a web link about the health benefits of sage the other day - in particular reference to alcoholism (what are they trying to tell me?!). According to this link, you can reduce your ability to drink by consuming sage in bulk. I put this theory to the test (with considerable help from Jamie Oliver) at once and cooked his Best Ever Bangers and Mash - a meal comprising of large cumberland sausage stuffed with sage, lots of fresh sage dressing and mash. Preceded of course by a bag of those crisps again. Result of experiment: I drank a bottle of red wine and several beers.... ...the extra beers helped console me with the experiment's failure....

...but the food was fantastic! Right, that's enough free advertising (for now... !)

If you go down to the woods...

2005-01-20T13:31:00.000Z

...yes, a snow filled woodland looks back at me from my calendar today - very nice.

Went to a TV recording last night at BBC Television centre - this time for The Keith Barret Show - it was very funny and the guests they chose, whilst a complete surprise (and not really A-list!) were absolutely hilarious, even just to watch! There's a section of the show where Keith asks the audience if they have any questions for the guests and Jess managed to get herself on TV (in the background), so we'll be looking out for that one when it goes out next month! Sadly, only my left ear was visible...

Don't know what to make of today's horoscope - not even sure what the word "meshuggeneh" means...?!

Like three circus tents from above...

2005-01-18T11:27:00.000Z

...is the only way to describe today's delightful calendar picture. It's actually, very dull, and I've had a sneaky peak at tomorrow's entry and that is not much better... ...may resort to making the paper aeroplanes to revive my interest.

Jess has a similar calendar, only her's is an online horoscope. Yesterday it said: The mountain du jour is likely tomorrow’s molehill which is far more interesting. I only hope that is true, as yesterday's problems were a mountain (hence my hangover) so hopefully today's a quiet molehill. Not so much luck so far... Might call my agent for a morale boost.

Rather like snails' shells....

2005-01-17T16:49:00.000Z

...is the only way to describe my calendar today, only they seem more triangular in shape. In fact, more like pyramids or tee-pees. So, snail wig-wams then. It's also Martin Luther King Jnr Day too.

Friday night was a mad one... did something I hadn't done for ages - other than stay sober, of course - and that was collapse in a heap on Rufus' kitchen floor, literally, only to wake two hours later to find the lights off, and I that had been surrounded by cushions and covered with my big black overcoat! Not an experience I wish to repeat... I was on the white wine though and they do say it is the devil's bathwater... ...although the inter-web will not tell me why...

...needless to say I scolded myself the next day, when i couldn't move before two o'clock in the afternoon, and then had to do the walk (in this case bus ride) of shame in nothing but my smelly booze sodden work clothes.

Interesting conversation on the bus though (not me, I could barely speak, the three kids next to me) - one of them had leant his mate £40 to pay for a new mobile phone and was having an argument with his girlfriend about it. He was annoyed that his mate had now spent the money on something else when he wanted to use it for a phone himself too, and now obviously neither of them had any money for phones, which had been reduced to £20 a piece... anyway, he was apparently taking it out on his girlfriend, who was one of the three, and she wasn't happy about it........

...they were ten years old...

Dry Bread Part 2

2005-01-14T16:54:00.000Z

It's a weird one this - I bought a perfectly fresh loaf, left it in the fridge over night, and still it was dry this morning... ...all I can think is it's one of these neither brown bread nor white bread loafs, and that as it has this apparent identity crisis, it comes of worse than regular bread...

...cold no better... ...and it's the weekend too!

Purple Orchid

2005-01-14T10:59:00.000Z

Calendar today has a picture of what looks like a purple orchid that has been frozen slightly. But is it art?

On the subject of art, last night Jess and I went to the Whitechapel Art Gallery for the Faces in the Crowd exhibition, which celebrates ordinary people living their "ordinary" lives, from the view point of the artist. It was excellent, although some of the artists work was rather schizophrenic! I did however particularly enjoy the the collection of photographs, and also the idea of artists "stalking" their subjects, although that could leave you cold...

Speaking of which, I have a stinking cold today :o( but must rally, as I'm meeting Rufus for drinks later :o)

Socks

2005-01-13T15:23:00.000Z

Jess keeps emailing me to tell me she's wearing my socks. They are my new socks too.

Dry bread

2005-01-13T13:33:00.000Z

The bread on my sandwiches was very dry today... it didn't seem that dry when I got it out of the fridge this morning, mind you, I was quite hungover...

What look like blood cells....?

2005-01-13T11:25:00.000Z

I got one of those Page-a-Day Calendars for Xmas - basically, I not only tear off the previous day's page to reveal today's date and a graphic or photograph (today' s graphic resembles blood cells close up) but I also get to make a paper aeroplane from the previous day's page by following the lines and instructions printed on the page. There are SIX models (Twister, Sonic, Mini-World record, Eagle, Comet, and Monarch). I have collected two of each so far and have yet to make any of them... The reason I mention this is that this morning I noticed that I had failed to tear off yesterday's page; it was a really cool picture of some dollar bills, with George Washington. I wouldn't have minded looking at that yesterday, as opposed to the blood cells I have today.... I'm a bit disappointed by that, really...

(Other graphics included so far are: The Earth at Sunrise, from space; A frozen snowflake (what other sort of snowflake is there?) close up; A paper aeroplane (eh?!); pink and purple patterned splodges (rather like a cow's skin - do cow's have skin, or is it fur? - yes, I know it is or becomes leather.... does that mean it is leather while it is on the cow or afterwards?); A coil of some sort - looks rather like the centre of a hub cap or even a Nine Inch Nails sleeve; leopard print (very chav!); non-descript pattern resembling torches; what looks like a few wisps of cloud; a star pattern (in brown, green and pink))

So it begins...

2005-01-12T16:34:00.000Z

Inspired in part by the number of dull Blogs there are nowadays (my parent's dog probably has one written about him somewhere), some guy getting sacked for having one, and the fact there are too many dull conversations and misadventures that are simply wasted without record, I have therefore decided to join the inter-web blogging phenomenon - hello!