Tissues

I think the cleaners are using my tissues - I have a box on my desk and tissues have been removed from it overnight....

Locker 101

Just got back from the gym... ...the whole trip today was a rather bizarre one. First off, I was hit by a squash ball as I passed through the corridor to the changing rooms (okay, that is not that bizarre, there are squash courts there, this ball didn't just materialise from out of space), then someone shot me a filthy look as I was gearing up on the treadmill (for no apparent reason, I wasn't staring at their arse or anything), but perhaps best of all, I was prevented from re-entering Locker 101 (alright - it was 103 - I always pick that number because it reminds me of home...) and was well and truly locked out of my locker after returning from the shower, with nothing but a towel to hide away my respectables...

...after sitting there for what seemed like an eternity, The Man duly came and forced my locker open (from a security point of view, a nightmare for any prospective thief), but upon gazing at my trainers remarked I should never run in them again, they were not even training shoes (funny, this sort of advice was not given to me when I bought them), I should get myself down to the sports store immediately with three brands recommended by him, preferably a model of shoe with thick plastic or rubber soles to protect my knees, and if I absolutely had to run in them again, no more than 10 minutes on the treadmill and absolutely not outside...!

...needless to say, not feeling the benefit of my 5K run just yet...

Down & Under

Quite a manic few days for Inane - I've also been feeling under the weather - but things are a little more sedate now, so that comfortably numb* feeling is returning...

My calendar (artistic shot of tiny bubbles, or an ehanced photo of raindrops - but I am fast losing interest!) informs me that today is Australia Day (in Australia - like I didn't guess). Apart from an excuse for all the Aussies we know to get drunk (because let's face it, throwing another shrimp on the barbie is NOT an option at this time of year over here unless you wrap up very warm!)... Kind of makes one proud to be an Australian, so I'm told, especially at a time when the Aussie sporting prowess is not what it used to be...

...Okay, so that link was kind of mean, because let's face it, there doesn't seem to much to say about England these days. Perhaps we need a new National Holiday - an oportunity to recharge our batteries at a time when morale is low?

Anyway, I'll be celebrating Australia Day (and a belated Burns Night) with a wee dram and a pint of Fosters down our local later...


* (Pink Floyd fans may prefer to look here)

What a week!

Absolutely no time to say anything of value, except always down a pint of milk before going out on a Friday - advice I should have heeded last week!

I feel a few more inane adventures coming on....

(Oh, and my calendar has improved again, the dry cracks of a river bed remindingus all to take better care of our skin - or should that be planet...)

Sage advice

Just had lunch. Bread was excellent, although admittedly wasn't mine. Bought sandwiches in our neighbourhood Boots, the chemist. Unfortuately, they had run out of those excellent Pan Fried Sauasge and Sage "Sensations" crisps made by the good people at Walkers. Nothing like a spot of advertising (and vague dim hope they see this and either send me loads of free stuff - I'd prefer the Peking Duck Cracker or Thai Sweet Chilli flavour Sensations) but they have been good to me recently. Not only have I been aquiring their Sauasge and Sage Sensations from Boots en masse (at a seriously discounted price, of course) but I've also been wearing their Pedometer, which they kindly sent me for free just before Xmas. However, you would not believe how difficult it is to get up to the recommended 10,000 steps per day! I find the only way I can do it is to cheat by wearing it on the treadmill at the gym!!

I got a web link about the health benefits of sage the other day - in particular reference to alcoholism (what are they trying to tell me?!). According to this link, you can reduce your ability to drink by consuming sage in bulk. I put this theory to the test (with considerable help from Jamie Oliver) at once and cooked his Best Ever Bangers and Mash - a meal comprising of large cumberland sausage stuffed with sage, lots of fresh sage dressing and mash. Preceded of course by a bag of those crisps again. Result of experiment: I drank a bottle of red wine and several beers.... ...the extra beers helped console me with the experiment's failure....

...but the food was fantastic! Right, that's enough free advertising (for now... !)

If you go down to the woods...

...yes, a snow filled woodland looks back at me from my calendar today - very nice.

Went to a TV recording last night at BBC Television centre - this time for The Keith Barret Show - it was very funny and the guests they chose, whilst a complete surprise (and not really A-list!) were absolutely hilarious, even just to watch! There's a section of the show where Keith asks the audience if they have any questions for the guests and Jess managed to get herself on TV (in the background), so we'll be looking out for that one when it goes out next month! Sadly, only my left ear was visible...

Don't know what to make of today's horoscope - not even sure what the word "meshuggeneh" means...?!

Like three circus tents from above...

...is the only way to describe today's delightful calendar picture. It's actually, very dull, and I've had a sneaky peak at tomorrow's entry and that is not much better... ...may resort to making the paper aeroplanes to revive my interest.

Jess has a similar calendar, only her's is an online horoscope. Yesterday it said: The mountain du jour is likely tomorrow’s molehill which is far more interesting. I only hope that is true, as yesterday's problems were a mountain (hence my hangover) so hopefully today's a quiet molehill. Not so much luck so far... Might call my agent for a morale boost.

Rather like snails' shells....

...is the only way to describe my calendar today, only they seem more triangular in shape. In fact, more like pyramids or tee-pees. So, snail wig-wams then. It's also Martin Luther King Jnr Day too.

Friday night was a mad one... did something I hadn't done for ages - other than stay sober, of course - and that was collapse in a heap on Rufus' kitchen floor, literally, only to wake two hours later to find the lights off, and I that had been surrounded by cushions and covered with my big black overcoat! Not an experience I wish to repeat... I was on the white wine though and they do say it is the devil's bathwater... ...although the inter-web will not tell me why...

...needless to say I scolded myself the next day, when i couldn't move before two o'clock in the afternoon, and then had to do the walk (in this case bus ride) of shame in nothing but my smelly booze sodden work clothes.

Interesting conversation on the bus though (not me, I could barely speak, the three kids next to me) - one of them had leant his mate £40 to pay for a new mobile phone and was having an argument with his girlfriend about it. He was annoyed that his mate had now spent the money on something else when he wanted to use it for a phone himself too, and now obviously neither of them had any money for phones, which had been reduced to £20 a piece... anyway, he was apparently taking it out on his girlfriend, who was one of the three, and she wasn't happy about it........

...they were ten years old...

Dry Bread Part 2

It's a weird one this - I bought a perfectly fresh loaf, left it in the fridge over night, and still it was dry this morning... ...all I can think is it's one of these neither brown bread nor white bread loafs, and that as it has this apparent identity crisis, it comes of worse than regular bread...

...cold no better... ...and it's the weekend too!

Purple Orchid

Calendar today has a picture of what looks like a purple orchid that has been frozen slightly. But is it art?

On the subject of art, last night Jess and I went to the Whitechapel Art Gallery for the Faces in the Crowd exhibition, which celebrates ordinary people living their "ordinary" lives, from the view point of the artist. It was excellent, although some of the artists work was rather schizophrenic! I did however particularly enjoy the the collection of photographs, and also the idea of artists "stalking" their subjects, although that could leave you cold...

Speaking of which, I have a stinking cold today :o( but must rally, as I'm meeting Rufus for drinks later :o)

Socks

Jess keeps emailing me to tell me she's wearing my socks. They are my new socks too.

Dry bread

The bread on my sandwiches was very dry today... it didn't seem that dry when I got it out of the fridge this morning, mind you, I was quite hungover...

What look like blood cells....?

I got one of those Page-a-Day Calendars for Xmas - basically, I not only tear off the previous day's page to reveal today's date and a graphic or photograph (today' s graphic resembles blood cells close up) but I also get to make a paper aeroplane from the previous day's page by following the lines and instructions printed on the page. There are SIX models (Twister, Sonic, Mini-World record, Eagle, Comet, and Monarch). I have collected two of each so far and have yet to make any of them... The reason I mention this is that this morning I noticed that I had failed to tear off yesterday's page; it was a really cool picture of some dollar bills, with George Washington. I wouldn't have minded looking at that yesterday, as opposed to the blood cells I have today.... I'm a bit disappointed by that, really...

(Other graphics included so far are: The Earth at Sunrise, from space; A frozen snowflake (what other sort of snowflake is there?) close up; A paper aeroplane (eh?!); pink and purple patterned splodges (rather like a cow's skin - do cow's have skin, or is it fur? - yes, I know it is or becomes leather.... does that mean it is leather while it is on the cow or afterwards?); A coil of some sort - looks rather like the centre of a hub cap or even a Nine Inch Nails sleeve; leopard print (very chav!); non-descript pattern resembling torches; what looks like a few wisps of cloud; a star pattern (in brown, green and pink))

So it begins...

Inspired in part by the number of dull Blogs there are nowadays (my parent's dog probably has one written about him somewhere), some guy getting sacked for having one, and the fact there are too many dull conversations and misadventures that are simply wasted without record, I have therefore decided to join the inter-web blogging phenomenon - hello!